Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Update, December 2010

Life progresses. I've made some pretty big strides since this time last year. Here are some highlights:

Dating

I had a full-on OMG-Girlfriend for a couple months earlier this year. Strange experience. It was nice, but ultimately it wasn't meant to be. She was kinda leery of having to deal with some of my issues about depression, having some of her own depressive tendencies. Plus, although it was lots of fun at first, the proverbial "spark" died pretty quickly after a short while. Oh well. Live and learn.

I took a couple of excellent "growth opportunities" from it. First, another exercise in dealing with rejection. It's getting much easier. I'm not taking it as personally anymore. I'm learning how to chalk it up to "not a good fit," versus defaulting to "I'm a piece of shit." Those feelings still come up, but I recognize them for what they are, ignore them (or at least don't act on them), and within a day or two I'm fine. The other thing was (and is probably related to the first thing), I've still got some "patterns" to overcome from my failed marriage. OMG-Girlfriend had a few (legitimate) complaints about some of my behaviors in our relationship, which were entirely addressable, but at the time it felt very overwhelming. Like, this is way too much, I can't handle this, I'm so f-ed up, I'm a piece of shit, etc. I didn't handle it very well, and I got pretty "low" about it. I think that was the beginning of the end of the relationship. Had I handled it better ... well, I don't wanna get into "what if"s.

So I took a few months off. I found that I was starting to lose touch with myself anyway. Not playing as much Magic, doing music, etc. So I took the summer & fall off from dating and ... well, played lots of Magic. And some music too. Oh yeah, and trying to get the whole divorce process rolling (rofl'ing?).

But now that divorce is imminent (the process was started last month, and looks to be finalized by the end of the year), I'm looking ahead. I've been enjoying being single, but ultimately it's not going to be for me. I hate saying that I "need" to be in a relationship, because I think I can "survive" without being in one, but long-term, I'd be pretty disappointed if I had to be single for the rest of my life.

So the dating has ramped up again recently. I had a nice date with a nice lady from Pardeeville (which is apparently not "Partyville" ha ha ha). Great conversation. But the attraction wasn't really there. Oh well. Another chance to practice getting rejected! And now I've got a couple of different leads that look promising in very different ways. As of tonight I'll have 2 dates with each one under my belt, and then I'll probably have to make a decision. What a strange place to be in ....

Meds

I am done with Anafranil. I successfully weaned myself off (with the okay of my new psychiatrist). I was kinda iffy for a couple weeks, but I've stabilized quite nicely over the last couple months. Nice! I'm hoping I can start thinking about Prozac next. That would be awesome. I'm still on my high-blood pressure meds, though, and I don't expect that to change anytime soon. I'll probably have to lose some weight and permanently cut out some significant salt first. Which will be a major challenge, given my love of food. Especially convenient food, which is rarely healthy in any conceivable way.

Magic

My draft game has kinda plateaued, I think. Rise of the Eldrazi draft wasn't very kind to me, and I rarely won more than one match in any given draft, and I never 3-0'd. M11 was much more fruitful, and I won a handful of the new Titans. Now we've got Scars of Mirrodin, which I'm finding to be lots of fun, but tough to actually win. I seem to do well when the Infect archetype is available, but pretty lousy otherwise. I started doing some homework on this format though, in the form of draft videos and articles from ChannelFireball, and I'm learning quite a bit. Mostly about valuing Metalcraft enablers like Replicas and Spellbombs.

In Constructed, I'm having a blast with my new toys, Grand Architect and Molten-Tail Masticore. I haven't gone 3-0 with the deck yet, but I've come pretty close, and I'm pretty consistently 2-1 with it. Elves is still pretty strong, thanks to not really losing a whole lot to the rotation, and with the addition of a new (third!) Elf Lord. It's actually a little more competitive now than it was last year at this time, but I've grown slightly tired of playing it lately. It's kind of limited in style these days, whereas the blue/artifact deck has lots of stuff going on, with different ways to cause shenanigans.

I also caved in and shelled out some big ca$h money for 3 more Jaces. I'm not really proud of that fact. But the card is just so dang good and so much fun to play with.

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